A Stunningly Shallow Woman

All my life I've wanted and longed to be stunning. I wanted to be the girl or woman that caught every eye as she walked into the room. I prayed God would just immensely bless me and make me physically irresistible. How shallow, right? Yep, that's probably why I'm not. And it sucks. Not that I'm not pretty. I admire the body and beauty my God has blessed me with. I even catch a glimpse of that shallow, stunningly gorgeous woman from time to time. God has a sense of humor. What sucks is that I want it so bad that it is ruining my life. Chasing my loved ones away and eatin away at my soul. The devil knows this is a weak spot for me so he nags and belittles and reminds me of my mediocre beauty. Even as my husband, the one person who should think the world of me, compliments me, I counter with degrading thoughts. 

I am not enough of a beautiful woman, right? I am not pretty enough. I am not tall enough. Not short enough. I do not have enough curves. I do not have skin that is smooth enough. You catch my drift.